I learned next to nothing.
I’ve had a Canon printer for years.
His trial is expected to last forever.
Getting home to find they’ve forgotten one of your dishes.
Guess who came crawling back...
Because it's cheaper that way.
I'm not sure what scared him more. My naked body or the fact I knew where he lived.
If no one was home, I would just leave a brochure on the kitchen table.
I said maybe...
Every morning at breakfast for the past 6 months, I announce loudly to my family that I’m going for a jog, and then I don’t.
It’s my longest running joke of the year.