You laugh, you lose.

At least become a cop first so you get paid.

Because I'm going to need a blindfold to hit that.

He probably gets enough abuse from her as it is.

This is why people with no sense of humor, have a heightened sense of self-importance.

His son wasn’t cast in it.

I said no. I can't deal with high maintenance women.

For the past 10 years I've been getting valentine day's cards from a secret admirer. So you can imagine how upset I was when they suddenly stopped this year. First my gran dies, now this!

None. They no longer make that socket, you just buy a new house.

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?” “I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.